In This Life
by Vega Dreamer
Summary: Sometimes, the words of hope that you don't listen to are what keep you going. A short series of rambles inspired by an email.


Spoilers: Any season is out there for spoilers. This is just a little bit of whatever I happen to think of. Possible spoilers for all of season eight as well as the rest of the series.

Disclaimer: The characters contained within do not belong to me.

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In This Life

By Vega Dreamer

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_(In this life) Every night, someone thinks about you before they go to sleep._

It had been a very long night. The CSI's investigated the murder of kids who had been camping in the mountains, and the killing spree of a rogue cop.

Catherine was wiped out. Lindsey was upset that she had worked overtime and wasn't talking to her. She'd left for school without a word to her. She didn't want to deal with it. Her life wasn't going very well at the moment.

Grissom wasn't happy. He didn't let on, but Catherine knew him too well to be blindsided by him. She refused to focus on him though. She had her own problems, AKA, Lindsey.

Greg was mad at Grissom for some reason he wouldn't let onto. And Greg wasn't very much fun when he was mad.

Warrick was going through a divorce, and had been accused of murder, enough said.

Hodges. Catherine could not even begin to describe him. He was just too annoying.

Nick was beginning to take on more leadership in the lab. He had a lot on his plate, so he wasn't as much fun as he used to be.

Ecklie was constantly bugging Catherine for information. About Grissom and how he was doing. About how good of a job Nick was doing. About the lab techs. About Warrick and his problems. Catherine had to cover everyone's asses in order to keep Ecklie at bay. And it was really starting to piss her off.

Catherine collapsed onto her bed, fully dressed. If she was truthful with herself, Catherine would admit that her lack of a love life was also bothering her. She rolled her eyes. She'd been thinking about everyone else, but who was thinking of her?

Catherine changed into a pair of boxers and a tank top and climbed into bed. As soon as her head hit the pillow, she was asleep.

On the other side of Las Vegas, just as he was getting to bed, Warrick's thoughts drifted to Catherine. As they did every night. He smiled just thinking of her.

Someday, his subconscious told him.

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_(In this life) When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it._

At the time, marrying Tina had seemed like the best thing to do. Nick showed him for the millionth time in his life that time was just too precious to waste.

It was a great relationship, for a while. But she hated that he worked so much.

She became restless. Both of them did. They stopped talking. They almost never saw each other. And when they did, they were fighting.

He talked to Nick and Catherine about what to do. But none of their well-meant advice helped him.

Warrick finally understood how Grissom used to always be able to seek refuge in work.

The divorce came as a ray of light. It was the best thing to do. But Warrick hated that.

It was his biggest mistake, marrying Tina. They'd lost a couple of years trying to be nice, and make a relationship work that was doomed to fail. He was unhappy. He was depressed. He has no idea what to do with himself. He was a wreck.

At least he knew now that it was a horrible idea to jump into something because of desperate circumstances.

"Think on the bright side," Nick had told him, "you get a chance to practically start your life over. And you're still young. Not many people get that chance."

Warrick was going to make the most out of his second chance. He picked up his cell and dialed.

"Hey, were you sleeping?" Warrick listened for a second, "Want to get breakfast? Maybe I could come over there?" Warrick listened again, "Lindsey's at school, so that means you're all alone. And I'm alone too. So it could be fun, we haven't done it in a while you know." Warrick laughed at something on the other end of the conversation, "I'll be there in a few."

And Warrick was going to do right by that second chance no matter what.

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_(In this life) Someone you don't know exists loves you._

"I had fun tonight," the beautiful brunette told him, she smiled provocatively.

"That's good." Nick kicked at the ground as the girl's smile faded. "I have to be honest. There was absolutely no spark between us. And I don't like to just get into things for the heck of it. I'm really looking for a serious relationship right now."

"Wow. I guess I should go then, because I'm not." The girl stomped off in the opposite direction, leaving Nick by himself.

Nick was really sick of being alone. He hadn't had a serious relationship in years. His father told him how nice it would be to have some grandkids to carry on the Stoke's family name every time they talked nowadays. Were there no girls that wanted a real, respectable, loving, serious relationship in Las Vegas?

There probably were, but Nick hadn't found one yet. Well, he had, but she was already taken.

Nick and Sara would have never worked out. They were two opposites, and it would just be too weird if they were together. And besides, Nick loved Sara like a sister. He could never date her.

A part of him was still surprised that Sara and Grissom were together. Sara had always loved him, Nick had known that. And Grissom had always loved her, he could see that easily. But something about them really being together was still hard to believe. But even so, Nick was completely jealous of what they had.

He would see the way that Grissom would glance at her. The way they seemed to have their own special sort of language that no one else really understood. The love that you could just feel radiating from them if you happened to be in the same room. Nick wanted that more than anything.

Nick didn't know where he could possibly find someone. He supposed he believed in fate, but how long would that take? He also believed in soul mates. But where was his?

Nick felt funny whenever he thought about things like this. Like somehow, the person that he was looking for was right around the corner. He could see a faceless person in his dreams. And when he awoke from the dreams, he felt like he was in love.

He was already in love with this soul mate that he hadn't even found yet. Nick wasn't sure if he was crazy or lonely. Nick looked up at the scattered stars in the Nevada sky, as if they held the answers. There was time. He would find his soul mate.

Looking up at the same stars, was the woman of Nick's dreams. Literally. He didn't even know that she existed, and she didn't know that he existed, but she already loved him.

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_(In this life) You mean the world to someone._

She knew that he was hurt, but she didn't know much else. Probably because she didn't want to know. Knowing would either make it even harder than it already was to stay away, or it would break her heart. Sara wasn't sure which option was more desirable.

She'd talked to Grissom, but only to tell him where she was and to find out about him. He sounded like he missed her. And he knew that she missed him. But every time he would try to bring up either of their feelings, Sara cut the conversation short. She wasn't ready to talk about things like that yet. It was hard enough seeing her mother again.

She and her mother were getting along, but they might as well have been strangers. Sara was honest with most of her feelings with her mother, but there were some things she was keeping to herself.

Every day that came uncovered another old wound for Sara. She dealt with each of them as they came. She wanted to have a real conversation with Grissom, but she felt like she would break down if she did. All she could hope was that he understood that.

Every day felt the same to Sara. She wasn't keeping track of the date, and she never knew the time. Only dawn, midday, dusk, and night were clear to her. So, needless to say, Sara was very surprised when a card came for her in the mail. A birthday card.

Sara recognized the handwriting immediately. But what she couldn't figure out was how he'd learned her address.

She opened the envelope with shaking hands and pulled out the card. On the front was a bright yellow sun. The rays of the sun were stretching out to touch a flower on which a butterfly was perched. When Sara opened the card, it started playing music.

Grissom had written out the words to the song that was playing. 'You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy, when skies are grey. You'll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don't take my sunshine away.'

Under the lyrics, was a short note. Sara read them with a smile on her face.

Sara,

Though miles may separate us, you remain close to my heart. You are the sunshine that lights up my world. Even though I continue to work in the dark, the sun remains the most rewarding part of my world. Don't let that sunshine fade away. I hope that wherever you may be, your birthday is a happy one. I send you all of my love, sunshine, with the hope that it will brighten your day.

Forever,

Gil

Sara's day was brightened. And the difficult road that lie ahead of her seem a little shorter than it had. She was on her way back to him. His world would have its sunshine back sooner than he knew it.

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_(In this life) There are at least two people in this world that would die for you._

"Las Vegas P.D., open up! We have a warrant to search the premises!" Brass shouted at the locked door.

When there was no answer, he kicked the door down.

He and a uniformed officer ran in to clear the residence, with Grissom following closely behind them. While Brass and the officer were searching the house for the suspect, Grissom headed for the kitchen. He'd noticed some possible evidence when he'd been at the house earlier that week. He was just reaching into the trash for the napkins with what he thought might be blood on them, when he heard the floor creak behind him.

The suspect was standing behind him with a gun pointed at his head. "Make a sound, and you die." Was all the man said, motioning for Grissom to head back out the front door.

He complied, running through his possible options from the list in his head. Too bad he hadn't let Brass secure the place before he entered, all of this could have been avoided.

The man's gun didn't waiver as he told Grissom to place his case on the ground. He grabbed it, taking his eyes off of Grissom and lowering his gun for a moment. At that instant, Brass came up behind the man, and kicked at his knee from behind. The man was so startled that his gun discharged at the ceiling, only a few inches shy of Brass' head.

The uniformed officer handcuffed the suspect and lead him to the police car, while Brass went to Grissom, who was sitting in the floor. "You know that I'd take a bullet for you Gil, but I'd really rather not." Brass chuckled, "One is more than enough for a lifetime."

Brass held his near mishap with the dangerous suspect over Grissom's head all the way back to the lab. Grissom wasn't going to hear the end of it any time soon. Especially since Brass went and decided to tell Catherine about the incident.

"What were you thinking?" She asked him repeatedly, "Just because you have people that would die for you, doesn't mean that you should go taking risks that would make it necessary for them to."

"I realize that. But I don't go out with the intention of getting myself into dangerous situations." Grissom thought for a moment, "You said people, plural, would be willing to die for me. Who were you talking about besides Jim?"

Catherine looked at him in astonishment, "Are you trying to plan out who you would want to be around when you get into trouble? Don't answer that" She paused, "Jim would die form you of course, but I guess that I would too, if it came down to it. Just like I know that you'd do the same for me."

"Thank you Catherine." Was all Grissom would manage to say. It was an amazing feeling to know that there were at least two people, that he knew of at the moment, that would die for him. If he thought into it more, he knew that it wasn't actually that difficult to believe. He would be willing to die for any of his CSI's, Brass, and of course Sara. Why shouldn't the feeling be reciprocated. Although they were willing, Grissom made a vow that he would never let anyone die for him.

**A/N: I will continue this if anyone is interested… If not, oh well. I hope that you enjoyed! If so, Greg, Brass, Hodges, and Ecklie to follow.**


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